An Offer

Let's start over again. You can be the parent, and I the child. I'll forget that I'm (on average) the same age as every one of you, and I'll submit to being treated like a mindless, helpless baby.

I'll eat three meals a day. I'll go to school regardless of what my horoscope warns is waiting for me there. I'll write 150-word essays on my hero (you) for you to tape to the fridge and display to the occasional guest. I'll watch an hour of TV a day. I'll be in bed with the lights out by 10 o'clock. I'll never be late for anything again. I'll listen to innocent little pop songs (that's right, no metal, no hardcore, no rock). I'll throw out my art books and my guitar and I'll study for my math tests. I will participate in all extra-curricular activities, and be the MVP of every sport I play. I'll stop reading Anthony Burgess in favor of novels with titles as cryptic as "e-love" and "I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God."

I'll be the child. I'll fall in line. Just promise you won't look at me like that again.

Please.