Dear Jerkface,

When you say you like someone, you are committed to that person somewhat.

You don't have to ask them out tomorrow, next week, next month.

You don't have to ask them out at all.

You're not engaged, you're not picking out the font for the invitations or buying a book of baby names.

You're not tied to that person for life.

You're not tied to that person at all.

But you've given them something to think about, hope for and dream of.

And if you dare take that away (especially on short notice), you are hurting that person,

And therefore deserve to be hurt back.

I hope you're hit by a train, killed in your sleep, eaten by wolves, electricuted, mauled, steamrolled, incinerated by a car fire, or otherwise fatally injured.

And I pray this kind of thing never happens to me personally. Cross your fingers for me, please, even after you're killed in a medley of painful scenarios. My boy is still a ball on indecision, but I'm being as patient as I can.

I do hope I've explained myself rationally and logically, and proven beyond doubt that you do deserve everything you're going to get - not one bullet less.

Regards,
Manda F.