Two CD's scratched out from my wishlist - The Academy Is' "Santi" and Paramore's "All We Know is Falling" - symbolise a turning point in my situation, but as to whether this is positive or not is hard to say. Maybe I'm doing better, accepting each obstacle, getting my rhythm back and starting anew. Or maybe I'm collapsing beneath the pressure, searching for an anchor (any anchor), building false idols and running myself into the ground. I'm teetering on an anwkward seam between idealism and nihilism, held fast by a common thread of hope.
I wish he would just make up his mind and voice it to me. He's indecisive one minute, secretive the next. I need clarity, I guess. I need to know what's happening so I can stop trying to guess.
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